Tag Archives: love

What Language Do You Speak?

I am fascinated by the concept of The 5 Love Languages.

click for source

The idea behind the book is that there are five main ways to express and understand love.  If you and a loved one understand love in different ways, you may be missing some of the ways they are showing their affection for you!  This applies to romantic relationships as well as friendships and family relationships.

The 5 Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation
People who speak this language value hearing about how much their loved ones care about them and support their dreams.  They thrive on unsolicited compliments and words of support.

Quality Time
Individuals who speak this language need undivided attention. Nothing says “I love you” like a heartfelt conversation, hike in the woods, or a shared meal.

Receiving Gifts
Despite the way it sounds, this isn’t a greedy love language. People who speak this language value the thoughtfulness and effort that goes into gift giving.

Acts of Service
A person who speaks this love language would love it if you took out the garbage or ran errands without asking.  They love anything you can do to help them out.

Physical Touch
This person is that touchy-feely friend that you have.  The one who hugs hello and goodbye and grabs your arm with excitement.  They need you to be physically present with them.

To read more about the Love Languages, visit the official website.  Although you probably have an idea where you fall, you can take a quiz on the site to determine what language you speak.

Me?  Words of Affirmation.  This is no surprise.  I love to write letters and tell the people I adore how much they mean to me.  One of the most important things I did before the rehearsal dinner when Goose and I got married was write letters to my bridesmaids, parents, in-laws, and Goose.  It meant so much for me to get my thoughts on paper about how important they were to me and what it meant to have them be part of my wedding day.

I’m mushy-gushy.  I’m the friend that will randomly send an e-mail or note to tell someone I adore them.  I’m quite certain I’ve creeped out some bloggers with my overly-emotional “thanks for writing that post” e-mails.  It’s just who I am.

 

And that’s exactly why those kinds of gestures mean the most to me.  Last summer, Goose spent three weeks in China.  While he was there, I completed my first triathlon, started an internship, and began a new job.  Before he left, Goose left three cards for me.  Each envelope was labeled for the occasion when I needed to read it.  Race Day. Internship. First Day of Work.

It was so special to me that Goose took the time to write me these notes, and I loved reading them!  He even had flowers, with another little note, sent to me the day before the triathlon.  Because I value those kinds of things so much, the notes meant a whole lot to me.  Had he communicated his support in a different way, I may not have understood it in the same way.

Do you think these “languages” have merit? What Love Language do you speak? 

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Filed under Faith, Life

Ulcerative Colitis & Love

Just when I thought, Okay, I’ve written enough about my ulcerative colitis lately.  Time to get back to other things… someone found my blog by searching for Ulcerative Colitis & Love.

My heart melted.

Goose and I started dating about four months before I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis.  He’s been here, by my side, from the very beginning.

When we started dating, I was sick constantly.  Ear infections, strep throat, headaches, exhaustion, and of course, awful stomach aches.  After a few months, I was losing weight rapidly and didn’t ever want to eat.  I am sure I was far too graphic about all of this with Goose.  I was also wasting away into a stick person.

I don't have many pictures of my stick-person self.

It’s always shocking to go back and look at pictures from that time, because I can compare it to how I look now.  Then, it happened so gradually, I hardly noticed.

As the symptoms increased, Goose listened to my fears.  The early days of our relationship, the ones we spent getting to know each other, staying up all night talking, and flirting constantly were also full of conversations about my latest ailment.  I was frantic because I had no idea what was wrong with me.  He listened.

Apparently I also tried to hurt him while he smiled nicely.

And then I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and put on Predisone.  How he stayed with me during that time I’ll never know.

Let me set the scene for you.

Prednisone made me a crazy person.  I would call him on a Tuesday, sobbing, asking why he couldn’t come to visit me that very minute. (Um, I don’t know, crazy Lauren, maybe because our colleges were three hours apart and he had this little thing called class.)  It was impossible to go out for dinner, because I never knew what I could and couldn’t eat.  I had a giant steroid face.   (I also decided to get a perm to accent said steroid face.  Brilliant move.  Brilliant.)

Check out the awesome pimples on my forehead too. Prednisone rocks.

Blanka is pretty. I have steroid face. Yeah!

Clearly I am not suggesting that Goose should have dumped me for being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease.  That wouldn’t have been very nice.  But that’s a whole lot for a boyfriend of four months to handle.

He was patient, listened to me, and supported me.  He was fine with last-minute adjustments to plans to accommodate a sore tummy.  And he never let on that he noticed my awesome bathroom habits.

Six years later, he’s here to accompany me to doctor’s appointments, make breakfast so I can take my medicine, and pick up the slack when I need a little extra rest.

If that’s not ulcerative colitis & love, I don’t know what is.

Who supports you through difficult times?

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Filed under Life, Living with Ulcerative Colitis